Satire Of A Harlequin Romance

The Promise Of Passion

To The Reader:

In order to appreciate the splendid glory of Voluptuous Veronica's best-selling novel, The Promise of Passion, one must have a basic knowledge of the world of Harlequin Romance novels. Note the stilted conversations, the corny lines, the overused expressions and mannerisms, such as "seizing the elbow" and "eyes colliding". Of course, the characters are filthy rich and most likely famous.

I am so confident that you will enjoy this new production of Jesterquin that we will be sending you a whole year's subscription to this exciting new series.

Happy Reading!

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Chapter One.


Katrina strode out of the office building into the bright Miami sunshine, her fair hair swinging across her back and her sky-blue eyes squinting against the glare of the sun. She was unaware of the graceful swing of her hips and the men who watched her as she passed.

Stopping at a low-slung midnight-blue sports car, she fumbled through her alligator-skin purse in search of her keys. Frustrated, she stamped her foot, tears clouding her large eyes. Already late for her dinner date with Dimitri, the famous international playboy and Greek tycoon, she knew this delay would not help matters any. Her fiance did not like to wait for anyone.

Suddenly, the purse was taken from her hands and startled, she looked up into a pair of smoky grey eyes. The man standing before her was the most handsome man she had ever seen. Well over six feet tall, he had broad shoulders, a flat stomach and lean hips. He looked like he would be at home on the range as well as in the center of a boardroom discussion. Katrina realized suddenly that she was staring and her face blossomed a fiery red.

"Er--um--excuse me," she stammered, her voice as soft as a summer breeze. "But isn't that my purse you have?"

"Yes, I believe so," the man drawled lazily in a deep voice that sent shivers down her back. She heard the mockery in his voice and knew that if she looked into his eyes, she would read the mockery there also.

"But," he continued, "you seemed to be having such trouble that I thought I'd help you."

And with that, he deftly opened her door and handed her the keys. She chanced a glance at him and saw that he had a crooked grin on his face and a gleam of surpressed laughter in his eyes. She flushed again with embarrassment and also anger at being made fun of.

"Thank you," she said, her voice as cold as the winter snow. And with a huff (and a puff), she sat down in the seat and slammed the door. As she roared off, she saw him in the rearview mirror, laughing and slowly shaking his head. Though she was infuriated, she had to reluctantly admit that he was the most disturbingly handsome man she had ever seen before. And she knew already that she was in love with him.


Chapter 2


The posh restaurant was dimly lit and Katrina hastily made her way to their usual table where Dimitri was waiting. As she sat down, he glanced at his watch, noticing that she was late.

"You are late," he announced.

"Yes, yes, I know," she explained in a rush, "but it's been such a busy day and---"

"I know, I know," he cut in, waving his hand. "Such a busy little lady." His smile seemed more of a sneer and decidedly cold to her...Or was she just finding things wrong with him so that it would be easier to tell him what she had to say about her discovery this afternoon? She agonized silently over the painful dilemma.

"Dimitri, I have something I must tell you---" she began.

"As I do you, my dear sweet buttercup! Did I ever tell you that when I look into your eyes I feel as though I am drowning, and the sound of your voice is sweet music to my ears? The soft touch of your hand sends me to degrees of heaven and the fresh smell of your hair makes me want to bury my face into it. Have I ever told you that yet, my sweetcream?"

"Oh darling, I did love you! I really did! But this just happened! I don't know how---" she cried out, grieved over the hurt she must surely be inflicting upon him.

"What?!" What is this you are speaking about?" he demanded stormily, his cobalt blue eyes colliding with hers. He reached over to seize her elbow in a crushing grip, but she was seated too far away. "What nonsense you speak!"

"Oh, but it isn't nonsense. It is real. It is true love, and I cannot let it pass me by. I do hope you find someone, my dear Dimitri, that deserves your love and kindness and millions of dollars. You deserve someone, oh so much better than myself."

And with tears streaming down her lovely, troubled face, she hastily took her leave. That's when she ran headlong into a hard unyielding body. Glancing up, she gasped as she recognized her own true love!

Heedless of the curious glances they were receiving, she threw her arms around his neck, and he gathered her close to his leanness. Then, bending his dark, handsome head, he crushed her lips to his, tasting of their sweetness.

"Oh, darling," she murmured, "I am so glad to see you."

"And I am so glad I got here in time. I had to stop you from marrying him. I just had to, for I knew that there could never be any other woman for me in the world. I knew I was in love with you the minute I glanced into the drowning depths of your eyes and breathed in the fragrance of your hair. Did I ever tell you that when I look into your eyes I feel as though I am drowning, and the sound of your voice is sweet music to my ears? The soft touch of your hand sends me to degrees of heaven, and the fresh smell of your hair makes me want to bury my face into it!"

Too emotion-stricken to speak, she shook her head and sighed a sigh from the heart. She knew the future held sweet promise of passion and laughter for her and her own true love.

(side note: It wasn't until years later that she ever learned his name, profession, age and background.)

posted by jay are @ 10:11 PM